I just got through readng a few months worth of blog posts from the fall of 2006. This turned out to be downright eye-opening. I completely forgot how a friend was going to set me up on a date with this woman I knew from the hospital; I think she was a nurse, or maybe in training to be an NP. I do vaguely remember what she looked like, and that I was disappointed that the date never materialized. Weird; I remember every minor crush and romance up until I met my ex-wife.
In fact, a lot of the stuff that happened in 2006 seems to have been erased from my memory. I describe in my old blog how I had to be the ice-breaker between my ex-wife's family and her lesbian girlfriend at Thanksgiving dinner. I, again, don't remember that at all. I do remember being supremely popular in my ex-wife's family after the news of our divorce broke. Classic Al Gore effect. Reading about that time, I am very happy I got out in one piece.
I did copy one post, whih broke my heart a little:
INSIDE DAUGHTER'S HEAD (October 2006)
What can be gleaned from this photo? Well, the setting looks like a low-budget early eighties kitchen counter-top. A few items can be seen, including a bottle of vegetable oil and a bottle of cola. These are of the brand "Great Value", which means the owner is poor, cheap or both. Or maybe he just likes Walmart and its practices.
The attention then turns to a hand pump by the brand Bell. This is another low-budget acquisition. A needle can be seen; the owner is likely a volleyball, soccer or basketball player as well as a biker. He must have a wicked six-pack.
A bisected piece of paper can be seen as well. The piece of paper advertises Levoxyl, a thyroid hormone. Clearly, this guy has few moral principles, since he accepts gifts from drug reps. There is a drawing on the piece of paper by the hands of a 5-year old girl. It depicts her parents. They were meant to hold hands in the picture, but they no longer live together; that's why she cut it in two pieces. She told her dad that she felt is was her mom's fault; that's why the mom piece is wet.
Yes, she tried drowning her mom.
Sometimes I just don't know what to say.
I clearly remember the little drawing. In fact, I think I still have it somewhere. It's easy to forget how traumatic divorces are for kids. And for adults, too, if there are kids involved.
My relationship with my ex-wife has been fairly solid since the break-up, but we continue to argue about the kids and about money. I have blogged about this before, of course. Right now, we are playing a high-stakes game of chicken. We are planning a trip to Disney World in December, since I have a conference in Orlando at that time. I'm working in the ER in Wisconsin in November, so I plan on picking up Andreas, my son, before flying to Orlando. But Natali won't see her mom until the spring, if we don't figure out a way for her to fly via Wisconsin. To figure out a way to make all those tickets work out has been near-impossible. And natually it will be more expensive to have Natali fly via Wisconsin to Orlando than straight to Orlando.
After we put in the hours of searching for tickets, I asked my ex-wife to pay for some of Natali's ticket and she has refused. That was two weeks ago and we haven't communicated since.
I worry about this; my ex has an expectation that I will always be the one responsible for getting the kids back and forth. That I will always come to La Crosse in the summer, because that used to be our home. I have asked her before if this expectation will continue, once we move back, because we will not move to La Crosse. Even if we live in Madison, just two hours from La Crosse, sharing the kids will require tmie and energy spent on both sides and I think the burden should be shouldered equally.
It will probably all work out and the kids will grow up healthy, though slightly scarred and bruised. These worries about the kids may seem so minuscule in a few years.
And that's why I love blogging. I'll read this post in ten years and remember things and thoughts long forgotten. My old blog - now closed for eternity to the public - was so nakedly honest that it attracted a much larger readership, much like the Girl's does blog now. This blog will, hopefully, lead a quiet existence for many years to come.