Thursday, November 20, 2008

Leaving two kids behind

This is the hardest thing I have ever done. The countdown is on. The kids have slept here for the last time; the places where we used to read books together are gone. Their toys are in boxes at their mom's house, or getting ready to be shipped across the ocean.

Daugther knows it's coming; when we talk on the phone she doesn't want to hang up, regardless of which TV shows are on. When she is over by us, she hangs on me, hugging me. She knows she is moving over this summer and has mixed feelings about it. I am sure she just wants her old life to continue but knows it won't happen.

Son doesn't now what's going on. I bet next time I see him, he will still wonder whether I live in the same house (and just stopped having him over). He doesn't think in terms of months or years. He has the same name for Wal-mart and Denmark.

I am leaving two kids behind and it's clouding my mind. I try to be as excited as I can be, for the Girl's sake. I can see why it has to be exciting for her to move to a new country and I want to be excited with her.

We seem to be leading a charmed life. Why are we leaving?

Cons:

Leaving two kids behind.
Living on the good end of unfair in America (ie. making x amount of money more than the CNA who has been there 20 years longer than me and works just as hard). I could never get used to that and just felt so damn guilty all the time.

Pros:

Medical training without the suicide hours. Heme is the cream.
The Lorax will grow up in Denmark.
Daughter will (eventually) re-connect with her Danish side.
The crisp summers. The ocean. The trails for running and biking. The long summer nights.
Traveling to America. A great place to be a tourist.
Being close to my Danish family.

3 comments:

Bec said...

Your new path reminds me Robert Frost's poem, The Road Not Taken...


TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


Trust that the road you and SeaLegs have chosen is the right one for you both and your children.
Have faith...

SteveQ said...

Take me with you!

olga said...

That was a great poem above. Trust your instincts. Make a leap. You know you can ALWAYS come back. But you can't make this move another time. So go with it. Commit. And make things work. because you can. Simple as that.
I wish you guys well. I know you will be alright.